Farewell To The Lining ... The Demise of The Manly Messenger

I am finding that patterns make no sense to me either yet my mom was an excellent seamstress and could even figure out McCalls ... I read and re read and have ended up discarding more patterns and partially completed projects .. I get so far and then I can't grasp it ... I used to make mohair bears by hand .. after a couple of tries at making other patterns, I designed my own .. again, very anal, it took me about a year ... I was making a messenger bag for B ... I did a tapestry outside and could not figure out how to get the flap on .. I tried three tutorials (forget the Butterick pattern, it was useless as was their customer support) ... well I decided to tackle the lining and maybe if I got all the parts done I could try to figure out how to put the flap on without sewing it onto the top of the bag ... well last week I posted this to my bag and sewing lists.

You have all been following with interest my long suffering relationship with the messenger .. from the poorly written Butterick to the tutorial on A Mingled Yarn to my questions and answers ... it has been a laborious journey ... the green patterned tapestry with gold striped lining which was to be the manly messenger for B has unfortunately met it's bitter end ... it lays lifeless on my sewing room table as I write ...

I sewed together the front, sides and base of the outer bag last week (yes, this has been months in the making) ... today I was sewing the lining ends (which have a pocket on each) and base together with the inner lining back (which has 2 pockets across, one higher, one lower) .. I lined up the end pocket with the back lining pocket which runs right across and basted them together (five times. Each time the canvas on the back of the lining shifted so I had a large ripple and had to undo and redo) ... there are so many layers and my pins were bending hand over fist ... I got the one lining end sewn onto the lining back and the pocket lined up reasonably well .. YES! PROGRESS ... however the other side did not, it was off by a good half inch (after all that *(&^^@# accurate measuring) ... I undid the serging and basting and attempted again (meanwhile it's gotten narrower because of having to serge over serging) ... I got it together and both sides are uneven .. the one pocket on the end is way down plus the one side is narrower ...

Note to self: Next time do patch pockets or pockets that stop before the edges ... fabric other than onionskin cotton is way too thick to travel over ...

Underneath my sewing table lies Keilo ... one 85 lb. female bullmastiff with a very thick, muscular brindle body ... I have a 125 lb male bullmastiff Kyro who would not care, would not move, would not cause any problem, does not care about a serger or machine running over his head, pays no attention to the doorbell at all .. UPS man came to the door delivering Tina Turner for my good husband (after seeing her concert the other night he realized she has great leg appeal for a 70 year old and ordered 3 DVD's) .. doorbell rang, dog shot up and was standing on the foot pedal barking ... off goes the serger ALONE !!!! ... she was frightened by the sudden noise (and probably my screaming) and quickly sprang off the serger pedal flinging it underneath the table, hitting her back on the table, still barking and inhaling like she does, racing to the hallway, oblivious to the mess she had made (thanks to DH ordering a set of legs and UPS with his bad timing delivery!) but not until my end piece which I was sewing to my back lining piece ended up something like / instead of | .. crooked as a dogs hind leg ... it also ran into the base so that looks like a dogs breakfast as well.

Drat says I ... well, I actually didn't say drat but the language I emitted are four letter words my mother doesn't realize that I know ...

I was torn between what to do and explored my options ....
a) I could put the wider end on an re serge it to match the other one since it wouldn't affect things much, I'd just do the other sides narrower (so it will fit a pencil thin laptop in case my dear friend ever gets one. Also perfect if he only wants to take a knitting pattern, a half skein of mohair yarn with a set of Namaste needles .. bottle of water? HA! Not a chance ) ..
b) Follow Barbara's advice and realize that not all things are meant to be completed .. if they aren't working out, put them aside and move on .. life is too short to waste time crying over spilled pins ...
c) Make loincloths for B to sell in the lifestyle community he is into .... however the canvas could cause some chafing ....

I think some things are purely for the sake of humor and for the mutual enjoyment of fellow bag makers who have possibly gone this road before.

A week ago Wednesday ..... The Memorial was held for The Lining ... it was a closed trash can ... remains were laid to rest in the round file and carried to the curb the next morning by one laughing husband, for cremation by the City ... attended by Mr. Husky, Mrs. Singer and The Headpins .. Lining is survived by partner The Outer Tapestry Bag and three dogs who were fighting for the spoils to be made into stuffed toys which I felt would be irreverent and disrespectful to the memory of The Lining ... Outer Tapestry Bag is open to having a new partner but is vehement that it must not have end pockets ... it has been a week and The Outer Tapestry is ready to start looking for a new partner.

Celebration of it's short life was held over the next several days .... donations may be made to a fabric store of one's choice but only after two hours are spent perusing and fondling the goods ... strong refreshments will be served along with a multitude of assorted sweets and pastries, cakes, fudge included, to help us all forget The Lining's demise ... the pain was quick and he did not suffer ... a blessing .. even my daughter who celebrated her 20th birthday from afar on Sunday got all her friends together and partied on till the wee hours ... she said it was in memory of The Lining but I begged to differ which was met with gales of laughter from her and her girlfriend ...

We press on ....