Farewell To The Lining ... The Demise of The Manly Messenger

I am finding that patterns make no sense to me either yet my mom was an excellent seamstress and could even figure out McCalls ... I read and re read and have ended up discarding more patterns and partially completed projects .. I get so far and then I can't grasp it ... I used to make mohair bears by hand .. after a couple of tries at making other patterns, I designed my own .. again, very anal, it took me about a year ... I was making a messenger bag for B ... I did a tapestry outside and could not figure out how to get the flap on .. I tried three tutorials (forget the Butterick pattern, it was useless as was their customer support) ... well I decided to tackle the lining and maybe if I got all the parts done I could try to figure out how to put the flap on without sewing it onto the top of the bag ... well last week I posted this to my bag and sewing lists.

You have all been following with interest my long suffering relationship with the messenger .. from the poorly written Butterick to the tutorial on A Mingled Yarn to my questions and answers ... it has been a laborious journey ... the green patterned tapestry with gold striped lining which was to be the manly messenger for B has unfortunately met it's bitter end ... it lays lifeless on my sewing room table as I write ...

I sewed together the front, sides and base of the outer bag last week (yes, this has been months in the making) ... today I was sewing the lining ends (which have a pocket on each) and base together with the inner lining back (which has 2 pockets across, one higher, one lower) .. I lined up the end pocket with the back lining pocket which runs right across and basted them together (five times. Each time the canvas on the back of the lining shifted so I had a large ripple and had to undo and redo) ... there are so many layers and my pins were bending hand over fist ... I got the one lining end sewn onto the lining back and the pocket lined up reasonably well .. YES! PROGRESS ... however the other side did not, it was off by a good half inch (after all that *(&^^@# accurate measuring) ... I undid the serging and basting and attempted again (meanwhile it's gotten narrower because of having to serge over serging) ... I got it together and both sides are uneven .. the one pocket on the end is way down plus the one side is narrower ...

Note to self: Next time do patch pockets or pockets that stop before the edges ... fabric other than onionskin cotton is way too thick to travel over ...

Underneath my sewing table lies Keilo ... one 85 lb. female bullmastiff with a very thick, muscular brindle body ... I have a 125 lb male bullmastiff Kyro who would not care, would not move, would not cause any problem, does not care about a serger or machine running over his head, pays no attention to the doorbell at all .. UPS man came to the door delivering Tina Turner for my good husband (after seeing her concert the other night he realized she has great leg appeal for a 70 year old and ordered 3 DVD's) .. doorbell rang, dog shot up and was standing on the foot pedal barking ... off goes the serger ALONE !!!! ... she was frightened by the sudden noise (and probably my screaming) and quickly sprang off the serger pedal flinging it underneath the table, hitting her back on the table, still barking and inhaling like she does, racing to the hallway, oblivious to the mess she had made (thanks to DH ordering a set of legs and UPS with his bad timing delivery!) but not until my end piece which I was sewing to my back lining piece ended up something like / instead of | .. crooked as a dogs hind leg ... it also ran into the base so that looks like a dogs breakfast as well.

Drat says I ... well, I actually didn't say drat but the language I emitted are four letter words my mother doesn't realize that I know ...

I was torn between what to do and explored my options ....
a) I could put the wider end on an re serge it to match the other one since it wouldn't affect things much, I'd just do the other sides narrower (so it will fit a pencil thin laptop in case my dear friend ever gets one. Also perfect if he only wants to take a knitting pattern, a half skein of mohair yarn with a set of Namaste needles .. bottle of water? HA! Not a chance ) ..
b) Follow Barbara's advice and realize that not all things are meant to be completed .. if they aren't working out, put them aside and move on .. life is too short to waste time crying over spilled pins ...
c) Make loincloths for B to sell in the lifestyle community he is into .... however the canvas could cause some chafing ....

I think some things are purely for the sake of humor and for the mutual enjoyment of fellow bag makers who have possibly gone this road before.

A week ago Wednesday ..... The Memorial was held for The Lining ... it was a closed trash can ... remains were laid to rest in the round file and carried to the curb the next morning by one laughing husband, for cremation by the City ... attended by Mr. Husky, Mrs. Singer and The Headpins .. Lining is survived by partner The Outer Tapestry Bag and three dogs who were fighting for the spoils to be made into stuffed toys which I felt would be irreverent and disrespectful to the memory of The Lining ... Outer Tapestry Bag is open to having a new partner but is vehement that it must not have end pockets ... it has been a week and The Outer Tapestry is ready to start looking for a new partner.

Celebration of it's short life was held over the next several days .... donations may be made to a fabric store of one's choice but only after two hours are spent perusing and fondling the goods ... strong refreshments will be served along with a multitude of assorted sweets and pastries, cakes, fudge included, to help us all forget The Lining's demise ... the pain was quick and he did not suffer ... a blessing .. even my daughter who celebrated her 20th birthday from afar on Sunday got all her friends together and partied on till the wee hours ... she said it was in memory of The Lining but I begged to differ which was met with gales of laughter from her and her girlfriend ...

We press on ....

Going East??

Alanna has been on the east coast for six weeks ... she went to visit her best friend Jenn and my mother ... the last time we were there was May 2007 .. this is Newfoundland in May ... lots of ice .. we have become thin skinned living on the Pacific Coast for five years .. the poor child doesn't even have a coat on because "we have to look hot" .. hot? For who?? Is there anyone here besides the ice? And that boat??? That boat even has a cover!!! You look blue! And your language is the same ..

Good bye Newfoundland ...
Jenn has horses .. Rudy is a five year old Newfoundland Pony and Twister is the brown one .. these girls are big on horses .. Rudy is very affectionate and lays his head on your neck and licks it, Alanna says. Awww.

An example of social suicide .. wearing barn clothes in the drug store .. for a kid who has a kinship with Christian Audiger I thought this was most uncharacteristic ... and what are you doing with garland on your neck?? Oh right. No one knows you.

Jenn has changed .... a lot ....

On my cell phone last week I received this photo from the east coasters ... because the quality is fuzzy I had to ask "what is it?" .. the reply was "we made a helmet and glasses out of tinfoil" ... tinfoil?? Yes ... why? "small town. We make our own fun" .. yes, I can see that.

Last night she said they were going into town .. said I have a picture for you .. this came over the airwaves .. I said "where are you? In the CAR?" .. Yes! DRIVING!! Driving? Like that? Yes. The other night's was a dry run .. this is the real deal .. and you expect to apply to school in that? Oh yes. And we are going to see Grandma like this too .. Oh?? I'm sure it will be a hoot in the retirement home .. go girls :)

Keeva's Second Patella Surgery .. aka The Bad Haircut

Last November, Keeva had surgery to repair a torn cruciate ligament and one of her two luxating patellas ... in Feb. she had a slip and the ligature on the cruciate became slack before her own ligament had a chance to form .. her patella also re luxated .. so on Aug. 13th she had to have her patella redone.

I put the dogs step stools in their pens, which I set their bowls on .. I put Kyro's and Keilo's in and not one for Keeva .. so she is chewing her bone and I'm getting the food ready .. I give Kyro his and she continues to chew her bone .. I give Keilo hers and she chews more .. they start to eat and she puts her head up and looks at me, bone between her paws .. I don't say anything and she goes back to her bone for a minute then looks at Keilo and she's all done so I remove the bowls and stools .. Keeva goes back to chewing her bone then looks at me so I took her out of the pen and made a fuss over her and she forgot that she didn't get any breakfast.

I took her in at 8:30 and Dr. Smith checked her heart in the waiting room and made a fuss over her, she was dancing around and running like nothing wrong ... said they are going to do blood work on her and he's going to check her throat and nose and see what is in there if anything causing her the problem for the sneezing. We had her in the other day for it, thought it might be kennel cough but he said it wasn't .. then said I think you have a case of non infectious Grass In The Nose. Tonsils the size of walnuts so gave me antibiotics for her, I kept having to clear the mucus and foam from her throat every couple hours when she'd start this inverted sneezing.

The day I had her in for her sneezing she sat on the scale to wait for Dr. Smith .

Dr. Smith called me around 1:00 and said that the surgery was longer than expected an hour and 20 minutes .. one good thing was he found nothing in her nose or throat so he's thinking maybe seasonal allergies that will pass ..

He grooved out the tibial crest more so now the patella has a better place to lay, he put in two pins instead of the usual one so the knee will never move now .. we knew that the line from the cruciate repair had slackened before her own ligament had grown around it .... because of how the knee was positioned he couldn't redo it without adding more line to the cruciate repair ... so essentially $2000. worth of surgery to give a new leg at no charge (we have no insurance) ... he did pre op bloodwork, sent me home with another four days of antibiotics and a bottle of Metacam and only charged me $58.00 for what should have been over $120. ... She has a Fentanyl pain patch on like before and a nice summertime haircut on one side ..

She has a Fentanyl pain patch and Metacam which makes them kind of stoned ... "I would have fit right in at Woodstock".

The day after surgery she had some bleeding so I took her in to have the bandage changed .. the girl gave her a little green stocking and a red heart.

We celebrate our second day after surgery with a ceremonial smoke.

She started to use the leg today and scratched off her Fentanyl patch ...

Tonight, the 17th, Keeva was panting a lot .. we had a heat wave a couple of weeks ago, I had to hose them down several times a day and keep a fan on them .. we've had pretty good temps all week, not having to use a fan and windows not open at night, it's been good .. but today for some reason it got hot .. when hubby came home I had gone to drive my daughter home and the house was stuffy .. she had her NoBite on and I think was anxious and warm (he doesn't take them out or really know how to deal with the dogs) .. I brought her upstairs to my office and put a fan on her and she is lying down .. she also wanted some company.


Relaxing by the fan with a bad haircut.

Keeva and the Flowers

I took some pictures of Keeva this evening by the rose bushes in our front yard .. in case some of you don't know Keeva, she is our special needs dog .. she is an Olde Victorian Bulldogge who was 2 in March and came to us from Denver, CO at 13 weeks ... she is a mix of Boxer, Am Staff, English Bulldog and Am Bulldog .. at 14 mos she was diagnosed with hip dysplasia and luxating patellas, both of which she was born with ... her mother should never have been used, as her father had HD .. last November she tore her cruciate/ACL and we had that repaired plus the one knee ... she has some aggression issues and doesn't get along with many people or dogs, she's quite unpredictable ... she has OCD with her nylabone and is very anxious so she's on Clomicalm, a dog version of Prozac ... she has trouble walking so since she had her surgery she's used a Ruffwear Webmaster Harness for support ... she prefers sitting to standing ... Keeva and I are members of CanineHD, a wonderful group on yahoo for dogs with this condition.

Keilo .. The Latest Addition

Perhaps this is why I can't seem to get anything done .. we have a new addition to the family in the form of a bullmastiff named Keilo .. she came to us as a replacement for our 23 month old female Kona who passed in May 2007 of heart failure .. Keilo was 14 lbs on Sept. 23 (we got her on the 19th) and on October 12 I took this second picture .. I had her weighed today and she is 19.2 lbs ..

Can you hear better like this???

Ode To *Mildred (Spirits Of The Cloth)

Bear in mind that this is only the opinions of two crazy quilters ... this is not the opinion of the general populus of quilters, crazy or sane ...

We are nearly finished with the color study RR and I for one will be glad to see it end ... I tire of the same color and will scream if I see any more purple .. another CQer *Mildred (name has been changed to protect the guilty) who had also participated in a color study that was not necessarily the same one I was in, said if I see one more **** (color) bead or ribbon or floss I will run stark naked down the street .... I told *Mildred that if I signed up for another color study to shoot me with knitting needles ... size 10 ... US .... circulars if possible as I'm more used to them ... she told me that if she ever signs up for another RR she hopes someone puts her out of her misery ... she said she would shoot me with the needles and made me promise to do a lobotomy with a crochet hook on her should she fail herself .... the pact was made even though *Mildred and I have never met .... ahh but *Mildred and I are now kindred spirits ... spirits of the cloth ....

I stuck to my word, no more color study but I signed up for another RR, this one is "anything goes" ... any theme .. no particular color ... *Mildred asked me to research "lobotomy with crochet hook" in the meantime ... I guess she figures she may need the surgery although she said she "might" do a swap ...

Here's to my friend *Mildred and all of the other CQers who are in the same boat. The original part is in bold, I "embellished" the rest ...

Prefrontal lobotomy
pre-fron-tal lo-bot-o-my (plural pre-fron-tal lo-bot-o-mies) In case you want more than one or if the first doesn't take and you need it redone. Noun.

Definition: surgical cutting of brain nerves: Prefrontal lobotomy was formerly a method of reducing severe emotional disturbances, mostly seen among crazy quilters but the operation had serious side effects. Quilters still insisted on joining too many RR's in spite of treatment .... indulging in one color study too many until they are seeing the same color cloth and threads on everything and everyone .... sleepwalking towards one's sewing machine but not arriving because of falling headfirst into a Rubbermaid container of silk, satin and velvets ... husband goes to look for shirts and they are in a pile in the sewing room because they look like nice quilt fabric ... he wonders where the buttons have gone ... sees them in a jar on the shelf like a scientist's lab and utters "my wife has gone mad" shaking his head as he looks for something to wear that won't make him look like Don Johnson or "Magnum P.I." .. not that there is any fear of that!!

Some have been seen going into stores and asking the price of a Vera Wang gown because it would make a simply lovely lap quilt .... either they have just simply given that no thought or they enjoy watching a clerk faint to the ground .. some very serious cases have even found themselves entering the most exclusive of dress shops and taking a heavily beaded gown that they can barely lift, into the fitting room .. not bothering to look at the size .... the clerk comes in after 15 mins to ask if you need anything or any help getting into the gown (they obviously noticed that the gown was a 2 and the customer was not) .... the quilter is fondling the gown which is draping onto the floor ... with a glazed over look in her eyes while sitting on the provided stool and says to the young clerk, "some snips please" .... clerk runs screaming to find a supervisor ... husband is called about his unruly wife .. when he arrives at the shop he says "oh it's beads. She's a crazy quilter" .... "yes" said the supervisor. "She certainly is" ... crazy quilter is led from the exclusive shop by one embarassed husband as she chants "I only asked for snips" while glaring madly at the supervisor .. clerk is still sniffing smelling salts ... quilter hisses "you will NEVER make a crazy quilter!!"

Some quilters swear off RR's but in the heat of the moment they consider the alternative .. a swap .. oh yes ... a swap would be nice and so easy .... one or two other people in the group ... doing what we want ... oh that sounds so inviting .. during sleep one such quilter sat up and blurted out "OH YESS!! I'd LOVE to do a swap! Oh thank you for asking me!" ... the bad thing about this is, that husbands do not think of "swap" in the same way .. suddenly there is a man coming to life like he's just been poked by Madonna's bra and doing a dance on the bed saying "YEAH BABY! Got anyone in mind?" ... quilter says "you'll put your back out you idiot, it's a quilting term" .... husband mutters something under his breath that was the farthest thing from a quilting term, attempts to get comfortable, his dreams of swaps shattered ..

Ladies. There are plusses to doing RR's .... really ... it's a learning experience .... I for one know only four stitches ... I learn slowly .... I sew even slower ... it's fun to see everyone's blocks, how they are put together, what seam treatments they use, what their forte is ... one may do wonderful spiderwebs while another is a whiz with Colonial knots ... neither of which I can do but I love beads and ribbonwork ... I am fearful of spiderwebs and bugs but I love the little knots and florally stuff .... everyone has something to offer.

But please. Do forgive *Mildred and I if we decline an invite to join another color study / RR ... we will be busy ensuring that neither of us need a meeting with the knitting needles and crochet hook.

Testifyin' .... Is Anyone With Me?

Today I decided to sort my fabrics .. I have three trunks in my studio, two in the hallway and one in my spare room where my daughter's computer is .. that one houses batting and large pieces of fabric .. one small one in the hall has nothing but trims .. the others are .. umm .. full of .. well, how do I say it ... downright ugly fabric .. granted I do have a lot of lovely fabric, but I've acquired those recently ... with experience ... they are in view on my desk but I need to make room in a trunk for them if I ever intend to proceed with actually making something ..... when I purchased my trunks I did not realize, until my DH pointed out to me that there are FOOT PRINTS on top of my trunk .... barefoot elves in London Drugs??

I'm a new CQer ... very new .. actually too new to have a large stash .. but I have one .. actually not one, but three trunks full ... I was getting a couple of squishies ready to send to Linda and thought I would need a trip to the cloth house to get her some fabrics ... then I started .. counting ... fabrics ... Dupioni .. raw silk ... cotton ... poly blends .. wools (so many wools .. for my P.I. quilt .. you know the kind of wool I mean "why are you wearing grandpa's seat covers dad?") and realized that if I sewed all this into blocks I would have enough material to make 70 baby quilts ... how humiliating ... how totally embarassing .. I've never even made a baby quilt ... I don't even have a baby .... and at 50, I don't see that happening .... thankfully. Tho MIL feels that we aren't too old to have one ... she has obviously forgotten how many years ago DH was born ..

"They" say that your first block will have no place on a quilt you make six months from now .. I feel the same way about fabrics .. I would not re purchase any of these fabrics now ... and who, are "they"???

My question is ... has it happened to you? And ... if it has, would you admit it??

You take an interest in CQ, quilting, bagmaking, knitting or whatever your fancy. Join a list ... maybe you join two .... meet other likeminded souls of the same nature .. and a lovely bunch they are ... they don't mind your anal questions and your silly photos of your muslin blocks/gauge swatches/seriously lopsided quilts ... it's a learning experience .. they have been there .. they are all encouraging and say nothing about your fabric selection or your methods of quilting ... life is good on the lists ...

You purchase fabric in 4" increments for CQ so you can have more variety which really works out to not having enough length to cover your wide spots which means you will have to piece maybe 3 different fabrics ... ahh but it's not the end of the world ... we press on.

You have not yet made anything .. but you are pondering .. planning ... eyeballing photos on the lists of those who have done far greater things .. by hand ... Leslie, Jo, Hideko, Kerry ... etc.

Finally you decide today is the day you are going to make a block ... THE DAY HAS COME ..

Kerry offers to help .. gives you a tut by email complete with pictures. Visuals are great ... Kerry is great .. her block is great ... yours is ... well .. it's a block .... who said it had to be pretty?

You reach for fabric and realize that what you have is so ugly you shudder .... good thing it's not an RR block because then "it will be going to someone. No one will want to work on this fabric".
But it's your first block and only a sample and you're doing it with Kerry and she is so encouraging ... "she is looking at technique" you tell yourself ... so you press on and use some of the ugly fabric. Oh man, this is really bad .. you don sunglasses to eliminate some of the glare ... yellow? why did I buy yellow? And stripes? You don't even LIKE stripes .....

And the block was completed in about four days .... well, the corner was not.

Today, I decide to go through my fabrics as I want to do something larger , perhaps a throw for hubby, maybe get a start on my P.I. block .... Ahh, I can see visions of a nekkid block involving Thomas Magnum, Matt Houston and The Chief .... well, umm .... maybe NOT The Chief ... The Chief is in a league of his own with Perry Mason .... and that league does not involve anything nekkid .. sorry about that, Chief .. sorry Perry. :o/ Matt and Thomas ... yeah, we can work with them. Nekkid or not ... hmmmm ... moving on

I open trunk #1 .... remove a handful of fabric and say "man .. what was I thinking when I bought these?" .. a voice from the hallway says "umm .. you weren't. CLEARLY" ... agghh .. 18 year old girls .. what do they know about fabric ... unless it comes by way of a skimpy top or a pair of half inch zippered Dorinha's that barely cover their bits.

Kyro appears at door of studio with his usual exuberance .. and resembling a hairy red Darth Vader.

He barks .. then starts talking ... if you have heard a Bullmastiff talk you will realize it is accompanied by a lot of roo rooing and the more he talks, the more he drools ... pass the towel ...

I realize he is barking at a piece of multicolored brown that is lying in a small heap on the floor. It looks like iridescent .. umm ... I will not expand .. dog owners will identify.

The sight of the ugly fabric is obviously far too much for him.

He retreated to the hall where I could not see him smoking ... looks out to make sure that dad isn't coming ... dad hates smoke.

I open trunk #2 ... Kyro returns .. he sees ... I find it's worse than the first ... I look at him .. he looks away ...

Alanna was right ... these are OLD LADY fabrics ... oh I know. Maybe I was planning on doing some of this when I became an old lady ... could that be NOW? I don't think so .. I still have my mind ... or do I? What person in their right mind would buy such fabric????

And you wonder why we smoke???

Open small trunk #3 and take some out ... Keeva pokes her nose onto the desk and spies the fabric.

She refuses to take ANY at first ....

Then runs off with a piece of pink .. leaves it near the toy box, soggy and dead .... Kyro returns to it and picks up the remains.

I attempt to get it from Kyro's cloth stuffed face .. "good puppy" .. thank you for ruining that but please don't eat it ..... I recall when my old bull terrier Talulah ate half a tray of Alanna's neon colored beads .... I had the most colorful front yard in all of St. John's. :)

Here Keeva and Kyro, have a bunch of ugly fabric .... Make a mess. Get them all soggy. Good job.

I look at my fabrics on my desk that I've purchased at the wonderful East Indian cloth houses in the last couple of weeks .... there are many .. they are lovely ... I revel in it's divinity .... Linda will love these .. no Linda, I sent you nothing soggy.

This weekend .... a visit to the cloth house.

Replenishing is good for the soul ... anyone coming with me?